Dumb old stupid dog
Do you know I got bailed up in my own house by a yappy scrapper of a bad dog this week? I would love to be ashamed of telling you this but all my shame got used up when Mr mr put me on speakerphone at the office when I rang him to tearfully ask advice, writes Sarah Kilkelly in this week's Uptown Girl.
So basically everyone heard me yelling, "This is my garden, dog, so just piss off" and other words that are only allowed on telly after 8.30pm.
The canine in question would have only come up to my calves but I have particularly juicy calves and he looked like a biter with his rolling brown eyes and snaggle teeth.
I don't mind big dogs.
Big dogs often wander into my garden but I quite confidently march out and shout, in my deepest, angry-daddy voice, "Get away home. You get home now" . It usually works and they slink away home and stay there for a few weeks thinking about what they've done.
This animal on my patio, however, was a different story.
It ignored threats, screaming, pot lids being banged together and then the handle of the pot lid after it fell off being thrown at it. It just kept chasing me indoors and then scuttling back to its spot, blocking the french doors and growling every time it saw me.
It looked to me like an old lady's dog, the kind that bites the grandkids and when the kids start screaming Grandma says, "Oh he wouldn't hurt a fly" , while the mutt sits under the table and piddles all over the carpet. Read MORE>>
So basically everyone heard me yelling, "This is my garden, dog, so just piss off" and other words that are only allowed on telly after 8.30pm.
The canine in question would have only come up to my calves but I have particularly juicy calves and he looked like a biter with his rolling brown eyes and snaggle teeth.
I don't mind big dogs.
Big dogs often wander into my garden but I quite confidently march out and shout, in my deepest, angry-daddy voice, "Get away home. You get home now" . It usually works and they slink away home and stay there for a few weeks thinking about what they've done.
This animal on my patio, however, was a different story.
It ignored threats, screaming, pot lids being banged together and then the handle of the pot lid after it fell off being thrown at it. It just kept chasing me indoors and then scuttling back to its spot, blocking the french doors and growling every time it saw me.
It looked to me like an old lady's dog, the kind that bites the grandkids and when the kids start screaming Grandma says, "Oh he wouldn't hurt a fly" , while the mutt sits under the table and piddles all over the carpet. Read MORE>>
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home